Archive / RSS

Mind-Melting Demo Disasters

We're an indie label digging through years of demo backlogs day by day. These are some of the choicest gems we've received.
We know that some people worked very hard on these, but also that sometimes, things just don't succeed. Even the best artists admit that. We do our best to keep everyone anonymous, but if this is your track and you think we're harsh, let us know, and we'll take it down.
Thanks. wowdemoblog (at) gmail.com

Nov 05

[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

tijuana bible

So, like, long time no see and stuff. What can we say? We’re busy.

We did get this demo, though, that we couldn’t NOT pass on. Actually, it was three demos, all in one envelope, with a professionally bound 8.5 x 11 book of lyrics for all the songs featured. Flipping through, it’s your standard crap, with the exclusion of one track that we just had to check out. It’s called “Looney Tune” and the lyrics are below. Forewarning: I wouldn’t buy your mom this track for her new iPod.

Looney Tune (note: all grammatical mistakes theirs.)

V1:
Tin Man… you got no heart…
Scare crow… went and fell apart…
Lion … to yourself…
For a farm girl … to put you up on a shelf

CHORUS 1:
Bow before the Wizard of Oz
You’ll be perfect for a new set of flaws
Got your back until you need a brace
Then he’ll cum and wipe that look off your face

V2:
Peter Pan… is old and grey…
Snow White… drifted away…
Pooh Bear… lost his stuff…
Big Bird… came out too tough

CHORUS 2:
They ratted out the cat in the hat
Now, why’d they wanna go and do that
Little Red was ridin’ me in the hood…
She gave me splinters from Pinochio’s wood

V3:
He Man… came out gay
Blondie… such an awful lay
Pig Pen… snuffed out Puff
Smurfette… got a big blue muff

CHORUS 3:
Porky Pigg is out of his head
Caught his wife with G.I. Joe in the bed
Drinkin’ liquor with Yosemite Same
Killed ‘em dead like he did Charlie in ‘Nam

CHORUS 4:
Elmer Fudd got strung out free-basing quack
The Little Engine couldn’t track down more smack
Tweetie’s puddy and your woody should meet
Cuz he’s pimping down on Sesame Street

REPEAT V1

CODA:
Bow before the Wizard of Oz…

Comments (View)

Aug 21

Ew! A demo came wrapped this way today… TOILET PAPER??? “SAFETY SHEETS”???

Denied. Esp. when your letter mentions how your band is “constantly evolving.” Buzz wordzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Literally. zzzzz.

Comments (View)

Aug 14

[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

This six and a half minute long ditty is heavily - HEAVILY - influenced by “Dark Side of the Moon.” It practically reeks of Pink Floyd. If Pink Floyd had shitty vocal harmonies, lyrics, and tried to rhyme things with “definitely.” Or used lines like “That monkey is such a bitch.”

That being said, I want to see the laser show that goes w/ this shitstorm.

Oh, and lyrically, it’s not just about bitchy simians, but also about wolves and shooting stars (timely!) so hopefully they’re angling for that coveted Twilight/New Moon market. And who can blame them? That thing’s a cash cow. Watch out, Thom Yorke.

Oh, and PS, I couldn’t decide what photo to use, so… bonus wolf star image!

Comments (View)

Aug 06

How disappointed were we that this wasn’t an album of mall piano style R. Kelly covers?

Very disappointed. Very, very disappointed.

Comments (View)

Aug 05

OH, and we're 21st century now

http://twitter.com/WowDemoBlog

now you don’t have to like… actually check this site anymore. It can just show up in your media consciousness. Although, come on. You like our fancy pictures, right?

Comments (View)

Handy Hints for Demo Submitters

Hey pals, here’s a couple of handy hints for sending labels demos.

1. Don’t spend $40 to send a typewriter so we know you’re “original and authentic.” Now we just have to get rid of a fucking typewriter, and you’re out $40.

2. When you include a letter (which you should) don’t note that you have “120 songs written and ready to be recorded.” You want us to sign you to a 10 record deal then? Or do you just write a bunch of really lackluster songs?

3. Write your band’s contact info ON the cd face. Those letters you send? Yeah, they get thrown away pretty fast, and we might not get to the demo for weeks (read: years).

4. If you include press quotes or clips, make sure they’re not from, like, “stevelikesmusic.blogspot.tumblr.twitter.com” - real reputable source, dudes…esp. when the quotes aren’t even that good. Who cares if “this record was a mildly pleasant listening experience.” If that’s your best foot being put forward, I’d hate to see how you’d actually deliver if we asked you to do anything.

Tons more label whining to come, I’m sure. That’s just what’s on the top of my head at this second.

Oh, and don’t call us. We’ll call you.

Comments (View)

[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

After letting my “tumblarity” fall to 0, I’m back from vacation with a vengeance.

You see, the problem was not only vacation, but that most of the demos lately just haven’t been THAT terrible. But then a track came up today that’s pretty effing bad, so we’re delivering.

Basically, today’s cut is Kokomo lite - all the schlock and bad rhymes without any of the 80s Beach Boys or John Stamos. Also, it features such rhymes as ocean/slow motion and waves/DAY(v)S - and that’s before the first chorus.

This jam’s got an air of faux-wistfulness with a “caribbean” beat. For the record, on the front of the CD it’s noted that this is recorded at the artist’s home - in case you couldn’t tell. (zing!)

Ugh, this song. I’m bored even typing about it.

Comments (View)

Jul 27

[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

“You guys know what would be, like, totally sweet? We should, like, record ourselves smoking a bong, and then write a song about, like, if we died, because if I died, man, I’d just want to be buried with my bong… i mean, “bury me with my bong.” Because you know, like… St. Peter would be totally into rollin’ fatties and blazin’ it up with Jimi Hendrix!”

Comments (View)

Jul 24

So... remember that cover of "Walking After Midnight"?

Yeah, that one. The “techno” one.

Well. That record was one of those that it was really hard to decide what tracks to include on the blog too, and it was also a total “complete album,” in that if you listened to the whole thing, with the last track being the cover, it really built to a “OMG HOLY SHIT” climax.

Thus, we now bring you the full record. Again, names hidden to protect the “innocent.”

Autotune Twins - Twinning Out

Comments (View)

Jul 23

Our first full album post

For the most part, when we check out demos, there’s one standout HORRIBLE track, but sometimes, a special little demo friend comes along.

Listening to this demo in the office, we were riddled with giggles and rife with “weeeeahhhhhhhhhh!” impressions of the singer. Thus, with as much identity hiding as we could do on imeem, we bring you our first full album stream.

Bathe in it. Breathe it in. This is horrible in its purest form.

WowDemoBand - WowDemoAlbum

Comments (View)